Is your Relationship running into trouble?
by Trevor E Smith | 2010-11-03
Sometimes we sense that our relationships have gone off the burn long before things actually get to a head.
The fact is that decisive action taken once you get the feeling that something is wrong can actually avert further problems.
If you are living in a troubled relationship, but fear taking action, STOP!
If you fail to take proactive action to change the course of a troubled relationship, you could be doing yourself, your partner and your chances for future success a very big disservice. Like the inception of medical challenges early action makes all the difference.
One reason for delay is a fear of communicating openly and honestly with your partner. However, that will not improve your relationship. You might be wondering if you are being overly sensitive. You might be concerned that you might be wrong about what you are sensing and open up a can of worms.
The truth is that open and honest relationships are more robust than you may think. Sometimes you simply have to "rock the boat" to make a difference and put the relationship back on the right path.
It might be that some feelings will get hurt as you share with your partner. It may even turn out that your partner does not believe there is an issue – one of your concerns.
However, saying something before the issues that you are sensing eat away at you is very important for your happiness and the relationship in the long term.
Wouldn’t you agree that even if your partner does not accept that you have a troubled relationship, if you think you do, then you do in fact have challenges?To address your concerns head on and avoid further problems down the road, you must share your concerns with your partner and work on them together as a couple.
Even if your attempts to repair a troubled relationship do not work out, taking a positive step forward is still worth the effort. By failing to take action to salvage a troubled relationship when you see the warning signs, you could suffer these consequences:
When you realize you have a troubled relationship and you fail to act, you can begin to harbour doubts, worries, concerns and negative thoughts. This is likely to be reflected in your behaviour which in turn places more pressure on the relationship.
If you fear that your partner may think the issue is a "mole hill," you could turn it into a "mountain" by refusing to air things out.
Living in a troubled relationship can be a very difficult, trying and draining undertaking. It gets even worse if you do not sense that some resolution to your problems is forthcoming. In that state, you may find yourself feeling apathetic about your relationship and even your life in general.
While this will damage your troubled relationship even more, apathy ultimately causes you even more harm. Common sense and self-respect require that you take action to create a healthy, happy and fulfilling relationship.
Even if this may raise some tension in the relationship, the discomfort of confronting your concerns can be well worth it.
Worsening of problems
Small problems that are allowed to fester tend to grow out of proportion. When you feel your relationship is heading in the wrong direction, act immediately to discuss issues. Communicate with your partner and try to revolve them.
Even the most minor of complaints can become a relationship-breaker if it's allowed to simmer unchecked for too long. If your partner had concerns about your feelings toward them, would you want them to discuss it openly with you?
An eventual break-up
If a troubled relationship is allowed to continue unchecked the ultimate result might be a breakup that may be irreconcilable. If this is not the case, it is possible the relationship will become so mired in inaction and other unhealthy behaviours that both partners will suffer living in an unhappy, unfulfilling situation.
Is it not better to work on communication, air grievances and let the chips fall where they may than to spend a life unfulfilled?
Living in a troubled relationship demands action. When positive, healthy steps are taken to mend problems, couples can grow stronger, better and healthier as a result. The outcome might be the relationship you have dreamed of having or used to enjoy.
The risks of taking action to address your concerns are worth the potential rewards
The cost of inaction is too high for you, your partner and your relationship.
Click here to get a revealing report on "7 tell-tale signs that your relationship is in crisis."
Early action is perhaps the single most important factor in saving relationships. Act now to receive this relationship-saving diagnostic check list.
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Trevor ES Smith is an author and people skills and performance enhancement specialist with the Success with People Academy. He is a hands-on practitioner in the areas of Inter-personal relations, Marketing, Sales, HR and Management processes.
He presents unique perspectives on inter-personal relationships, leadership, team building, customer service, technology and time mastery.